Awkward Dates and Me (Yes, Another Social Analysis)

In order to make up for that one week that I missed in November due to my being sick, I decided to do a double post this week. Thanks for reading, again!

I always hear a lot about first dates and how awkward they can be.

The stuff that I hear always goes along the lines of “Oh, I tried a couple of jokes, they sizzled out, and we were left staring at each other for twenty minutes.” The date eventually draws to a close, and the couple in question either stands still in their relationship or even declines in their relationship.


Okay, now I’m not going to go into my social and romantic life. I’m not going to tell you if I even have one or not, as I am ever paranoid of some secret organization using my offhand remarks made on the Internet to track me down. Just kidding.

What I CAN tell you is that I am (obviously) a guy, so most of this post will be written in a guy’s perspective. That means that if you’re a member of the opposite gender of male, then I suggest that you pay no heed to any of this, unless if you want to know what your guy or any guy may or may not be thinking. Hey, it’s just me. We’re all different.

Okay, so awkward dates. Why are they so awkward in the first place? What can we do to make them less awkward?

Well, try not to do that, guys. And ladies, when a guy says something like that, he may be trying to compliment you, so please, for our sake, at least smile, laugh, and pretend that you think that he’s cute. It’s the first date.

Anyway, enough joking around. Why, you may ask, am I writing this post? Well, someone today (I’ll call him Master Mentor) was talking about how he gave advice to others who were in need of assistance in deciding what to do on their first dates in order to woo their girl (or guy). Master Mentor went over the two physiological and psychological aspects of dating- transfer and proximity.

The transfer aspect can be explained as this- the factors in the surrounding environment can be closely associated with a person of focus or in close proximity (more on proximity later). Basically, let’s say that a guy takes a girl to a theme park. After a day of thrills and chills, ups and downs (on rides only, hopefully), and delicious theme park food and one-on-one time with the guy, the girl tells her friends the next day about the guy. She would probably say something along the lines of “Oh, he makes me feel so alive!”

Sure it may be him making you feel alive. Or it could be all of the roller coasters that you’ve been on, sister. See how cleverly the association passes to the guy, though? This, guys, is how you can convince your girl that you are what you aim to be. Hopefully, it’s true. I mean, according to Master Mentor, your actions are a result of who you are, and vice versa, right?


Transfer works in close conjunction with proximity, according to dear Master Mentor. If the date that you are with doesn’t mind you getting close to them in, let’s say, a scary ride, for example, and allows you to comfort them, then you may be on the right track. If, on the other hand, they hurriedly push you away from them or flat out tell you to sit in another seat or car, then something’s not going right.

So thanks, dear Master Mentor, for enlightening us on these aspects.

In a way, awkward first dates can be compared to surrealist paintings. Nothing seems to make sense at first, and everything seems spread apart and unstructured.

For those of you who don’t know, this is one of Salvador Dali’s most recognizable works, The Persistence of Memory.

Anyway, everything seems unreal, nothing makes sense, etc. But it doesn’t have to make sense. It’s only the first date. Have fun with it! Be casual (another mantra imparted by Master Mentor), and everything will be fine. You don’t have to buy a new car for that girl you love, just keep it moderately cheap. Not too cheap though. You probably don’t want girls to think that you’re a Scrooge (Christmas reference!).

Just relax. Play it cool. You don’t have to go overboard with it.

Eventually, your relationship will soon start to (hopefully) make sense. Things will start to clear up, and you can decide whether your date is good for you or not. Your first date isn’t your marriage proposal; just use it as a kind of test to aid in your relationship later on.

Hopefully, things will start to seem clearer.

Magritte’s The Portrait. Yes, I love art, how did you guess?

Everything will start to seem normal, but don’t expect everything to be solid just yet. Life is unpredictable. Just go along with it and you’ll be fine.

So guys? Humor your woman, at least make an effort to be sophisticated and be the guy that a girl would want. The kind of guy that doesn’t rush home every day just to get his kill-death ratio up. Make an effort to seem less like a barbarian and more like a human. Then maybe you won’t miss any opportunities, right? Right?


And ladies? I’m sure that I’m speaking for many guys when I say this: pretty please take it easy on us guys. We really want to make you happy, so at least please try and be happy. Plus, your guy may have more important things in his life to take care of. He may be supporting his parents, or he may want to get into college.

Or he may just be making up excuses in order to reach tenth prestige. Your call.

Anyway, I really hope that you readers take some of my opinions into mind when going on dates. You don’t have to do what I say exactly, but just thinking about them would be great.

And I hope that your relationship persists into you and your date’s memory (wordplay!).

And I hope that it doesn’t end up disintegrating.

Search up that painting and laugh at my cleverness, minions. Here’s a hint- it’s by the same artist of a familiar painting…

And if you were wondering whether I’m going through a break-up, I, being ever so paranoid as to shady organizations using my remarks to track me down, can assure you of nothing of the sort.



4 responses to “Awkward Dates and Me (Yes, Another Social Analysis)

  1. Pingback: “Just a Book” vs. Literature: People Don’t Read As Much as they Used To | Oh how... UNcharming...·

  2. Pingback: Looking Back: Updates and Memories | Oh how... UNcharming...·

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